Today’s topic is being a trans woman. I didn’t sit on it and think about what I should write, I opened my blog page and now I’m starting to write. We will proceed title by title and the title will come in the title where I will pour out the feelings inside me.

1 – How did I realize that I am trans ?

2 – Can trans women fall in love with women ?

3 – Have you revealed that you are trans to your family or friends ?

4 – Have you taken any steps to change your gender ?

That’s it for our topics, now let’s start chatting slowly starting from the first topic;

1 – 3 How did I know I was trans and did you share your trans status with your family and friends?

There is no simple answer to this question because the issue itself is not simple. It is something that will affect your whole life and your whole hereafter, from the day you are born. I didn’t suddenly say, “Of course, I am a woman.” Of course not. It didn’t start with a simple suspicion, but when I started acting like a woman and secretly dressing like a woman without knowing what I was doing, question marks began to appear in my mind. The first examples of this in me started when I was 9 years old, if I remember correctly. I secretly started dressing like the opposite sex, I swear to you, I didn’t even know why I was doing it, but I felt like doing it. That’s why I did it, I felt happy when I dressed as a woman, I felt free. At first I didn’t have the courage to admit it to myself, I didn’t even have the courage to say it definitively for years, every time I would daydream inside and imagine myself as a very beautiful woman in my own imagination. The feelings inside me made me feel so strange, for example, I imagined that I was married and I had a husband, I imagined that I was pregnant, that I was giving birth to a child, that I was breastfeeding my own baby, I imagined all these things, but even in my imagination I didn’t speak, I just imagined. So I imagine, but even in my imagination I don’t have the courage to speak. It took me a long time to fall in love with a man in my own imagination. You must understand how important it is for me to be a woman. Because even when I imagine it, I’m so happy, I don’t have any problems. Even the problems that I overestimated suddenly turn into dust. It was even stranger when I started dressing like a woman, like myself. Because it was definitely the period when I was the most myself. I would stand in front of the mirror and just look at the skirt and bra I was wearing. It’s very hard for you to understand the strangeness of that. Because that feeling is very special. You are born as a man and you wear a bra. You look at yourself in the mirror and you dream. “One day I’m going to be a beautiful woman.” There were times in my life when nothing was going right, so I needed to make myself happy and give myself some peace of mind… and I did that by wearing skirts, dresses, underwear, wigs and make-up that I bought with my own money. I had this freedom last year. Before that I didn’t have that luxury. My first skirt is a red mini skirt with daisies on it and a short tank top. I will put the dress of my skirt here. I will share the pictures of all my dresses in a different post later 🤩🤩🤩🤩

I had to replace the carpet under the skirt using artificial intelligence, but the skirt is mine.

Why didn’t I talk about it with my family and my environment? The reasons are simple, of course… “The first reason was the fear of the environment and family, I was scared, very much. Because in my own country, there were women who were burned, women who were tortured, women who were raped and could not get their rights in justice just because they were trans. I am proud of myself for seeing the people around me as friends and not deceiving myself, because none of them, especially my parents, had a single truth about morality, they all had a selfish, pathetic and so ignorant mindset that they thought they were doing everything right, that they thought they were superior to every person in this world… For example, an American, an Englishman, a Frenchman, a German, it doesn’t matter. If you mentioned any of them, they would refer to them as infidels. In fact, they did not even know what kafir meant. The geography I live in is so full of idiots that they think this world was created for them. My family and my environment are no less than them. Not to mention the attention and love I didn’t receive… they didn’t even have the slightest idea what it was like to raise and care for children. As I grew up, I hated them because I saw the truth. For all these reasons, I never shared with anyone that I felt like a woman. Fear was one of the reasons, but the biggest reason was hate. I felt such a lack of love that I was desperate to free myself and start a new life as a free individual. This required money, of course. Since I didn’t have any skills to earn money, I could only pray. As for the age at which I finally accepted that I was trans, you may be surprised, but it was around 18 years old. 18 was the age when I was at my absolute most and when I was absolutely sure that I had to change. And I was becoming more and more sure as the days went by and I still am. The age when I had to share this with my family members was 21, the year I committed suicide. I will write a detailed article about that, but before that you should know how I got there.

  2-Can trans women fall in love with women ?

I don’t think the feeling of love has anything to do with gender. If we only saw gay couples around us since we were little, today everyone would feel love for their own gender. So even if we talk about this for hours, we will arrive at the same place.

Wanting to be a woman is the self. Falling in love with a woman is an emotion.

The two are very different phenomena. They should not be confused with each other. You can be happy with your gender and fall in love with someone of your own gender. That’s perfectly natural. In the same way, as in my case. You are a man who feels like a woman and you like men. That doesn’t make you gay. Even if it does, it’s not a problem.

4 – Have you taken any steps to change your gender ?

Unfortunately, no. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t because that’s not how things work in my geography. No state here is “social”. So even if you stay on the street, even if you are tortured, even if a crime is committed against you, unfortunately it is not possible to get your rights. You are alone here. It is much worse when you are earning money. I will give you an example of the money I earn in my working experience and you will understand how disgusting the situation is.

I was working part time, on and off. I was working about 12 hours a day, sometimes more. Much more… what I earned in this process was only $25. Not to mention the mobbing and the difficult working conditions during the working process. I can’t wait to tell you what a dump the Middle East is, and I hope to talk about everything in much more detail in time. But for now, let’s move on. So, how did I buy a phone and how did I buy a 10 year domain name sale? How did I get a passport and how did I buy a 2 year wordpress premium.

This is both the beautiful and the sad part… Before all this, about a month ago, I had only 160 dollars. I invested this money on the stock exchange and made about $ 7 thousand in a short time. With $ 2 thousand, I covered many expenses and left $ 5 thousand money inside, but… man is a very greedy being, instead of waiting for the American elections, I tried to increase my money even more and lost all $ 5 thousand. If I had invested the money in crypto on the day of the American elections, I would now have about $ 100 thousand, but I couldn’t. That’s why I’m depressed these days.