I started making videos dressed as a woman to publish one day in the future. I shoot the videos secretly in my room and in the evening. I don’t plan to shoot them very often, I just shoot them intermittently to tell people how I am and to tell people what kind of psychology I am in.

I’m skipping this part, unfortunately I’m still depressed and extremely hopeless. Nothing has changed. I’m going crazy. I feel like I’m just standing where I am and not moving forward and it’s really bothering me. I hate myself and my life. Nothing is going right.

I don’t want to tell the same things over and over again, but believe me, this is how I spend my whole day. I try so hard to live and it’s not worth it. The money in my pocket is almost gone. I don’t want to work because even if I work in the country I live in, I don’t get my rights.