It’s now April 5, 2025, and it’s almost 3:00 AM. In the background, I’m listening to the 4th season of “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.” This morning, a package I was eagerly waiting for arrived. Inside, there was a long black skirt, a matching hijab blouse, and a floral bra. It wasn’t just any ordinary moment; it was an experience that was impossible to describe in such simple words. I immediately put on my scarf, looked at myself in the mirror, and the feeling it gave me filled me up. I had never felt this way before. It was as if a void inside of me, an identity search that I had been carrying for years, was finally filled at that moment. I felt so beautiful. Even as I write this, I’m reliving that moment.

The clothing I bought today, the skirt and blouse set, is definitely one of my favorites. While I don’t particularly think about wearing a hijab every day, the set was available for sale together, and I liked it. In that outfit, I felt so free and feminine, as if the whole world around me was saying, “This is where you belong.” It felt like acceptance, love. Seeing myself, accepting myself, and loving what I am was more profound than I could have ever imagined.

Later, I removed the scarf, put on my wig, and continued to gaze at myself in the mirror. The most striking thing about this process was the feeling of finally accepting myself. I had been carrying this feminine identity inside me for so long, yet I couldn’t express it outwardly. But today, fear, misunderstandings, and taboos were replaced with a sense of freedom. Saying, “I am a woman” and truly feeling it is as difficult as it is beautiful. Understanding what it feels like to embrace your true self is something only those who have experienced it can understand.

How did I get to this feeling, you might ask? Simple: Time. Time, the right time, and the right moments helped me find myself. Yes, I am a woman. For someone born a woman, these words may seem strange or even nonsensical. But living with these feelings inside, embodying them, and eventually expressing them to the outside world is priceless. It’s hard to express how that sensation feels, but words often can’t capture the depth of emotions. This is a process. And every moment of this process helped me find myself. Now, on April 5, 2025, as a woman, being able to express myself freely and even write this blog is incredibly valuable.

The feelings I described in yesterday’s (April 5th) post are still true. Yes, I am a woman. For those born as women, this may sound strange or illogical. But living with these feelings, experiencing them every day, and gradually making them real is a profound journey. I am now living that journey. Every moment, every change, and every discovery along the way is a part of me. And I know this is who I was always meant to be.

Right now, I don’t want to take off my skirt and clothes. They make me feel valued. I’m standing in front of the mirror, listening to music, and dancing. It feels like a form of therapy. Dancing frees me from everything, takes me away from the shadows of the past, and invites me to just be myself. In that moment, I’m escaping reality, forgetting the world around me, and simply loving who I am. It feels like a rebirth, the sensation of truly being one with the body, the spirit, and the energy of a woman… There’s nothing else that fills me with as much peace.

You may remember the post I wrote yesterday. The feelings I described in that post are still valid today. I am a woman. I don’t want anyone to look at me and understand this right away. In this journey, I want to respect myself and my feelings, and I want to experience the beauty of being true to myself. For many people, this might seem like a small thing, but I know that when I feel right within myself, nothing else matters. Accepting my identity and being able to exist in this world as a woman… That’s what matters now.

Amidst the chaos of thoughts and emotions, I feel so at peace right now. And I don’t want to take off my skirt and clothes. They make me feel completely myself. This is the moment where I can simply be me. I’m writing this blog now, but you’ll read it on April 6th. I hope I can express this powerful change and rebirth. I’ve found myself in these moments, and I hope you can be a part of it too.