April  11, 2025. 00:05~
“After a Series Ends”

The date I started the series March 30, 2025. 2:55 AM.

And today April  11, 2025. 00:00. When the final scene of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina froze on my screen, something inside me froze with it.
It was over.
And once again, I was left alone with the emptiness.

I know there’s a reason why I get attached so quickly to every show, every movie.
Because this reality…
This world…
Is not the place I want to belong to.
So each time, I open the door to another universe.
I lose myself in the life of a witch, in the war of a sorcerer, in deals made with the devil.

I had started this show years ago too.
Back then… I guess I was more sensitive.
I felt a deep sense of belonging with every episode.
Hearing Lucifer’s name didn’t make me shiver—it intrigued me.
Being a witch… being different… somehow felt like being me.
But not this time.
This time, I was faced with a world I didn’t want to belong to.

It wasn’t magical—it was dark.
Not enchanting—but suffocating.
And even there… I couldn’t feel like I belonged.

It made me think.
If we ever experience something supernatural, would we forget it instantly?
Is forgetting a universal defense mechanism?
Or are there beings on higher planes watching our lives like a movie?

I don’t know the answers.
But my feelings—those are real.
Watching the show gave me a temporary sense of peace.
It allowed me to delay the overthinking.
For a while, I was free from my problems.
But now… everything has come rushing back.

I found myself comparing my life to characters younger than me.
Even their struggles seemed more “solvable.”
Mine feel giant.
Heavy, suffocating, impossibly huge.

And here I am again with that familiar feeling:
Tired of life.

But I’m still here.
I’m writing.
Because maybe this entry will keep me alive until the next one.


—

“In the next chapter, I’ll reveal the new series I’ve started. Maybe there’s a little more light there…”


—