There are certain moments in life that you cannot forget. It does not have to be a significant event for these moments to be unforgettable; even on an ordinary day, certain events and moments occur that make that day unforgettable.

Some of the moments I can’t forget are like this—quite ordinary yet deeply impactful. The imprint a simple song left on my soul… My first day at work… The days when life’s harsh realities hit me in the face… The blows life dealt me on the path I walked with a thousand hopes… What about my dreams? The days I worked day and night to buy a computer but still couldn’t manage it… The very old videos I shared on YouTube… All of them were hopes, efforts I made to live happily in the future, none of them were about making easy money. On the contrary, they were about the impatience I showed because I knew the pain of depending on another person.

But humanity is still so cruel, so ignorant, so heartless, and so pitiful. There is no justice, no love… Understanding life is a difficult matter. Accepting the life you understand is even harder; some cannot endure it, 
throwing themselves off a cliff or into the sea. 
I ask myself all the questions: 
What will you do?
What is your plan? 
You must find a way! 
There must be an exit! 
You must leave this country and this geography! 
But how? I couldn’t even leave my own neighborhood until I came of age… My peers had already crossed the bridge, and I was just watching them from behind. When I saw the life they had built with my own eyes, I was horrified. I was finished! I had already lost, but I hadn’t even realized it. 

In the world I had built in my mind, everything was fine. I was the happiest and most successful person. My entire youth was spent “caring.”



“Now, at 23, I’m struggling to keep from pulling the ladder out from under my feet.” 

Who could have known it would turn out this way… 

Look at me now! I’m writing a blog in this online world where I don’t even know who I am, and most people probably hate me, and I’m waiting for people to understand me.

“Should one accept suffering once to avoid suffering more?”

I can’t build my own life; I’m still living with my family and still don’t have a job. What good would a job do anyway? Am I going to buy a house with $750? Plus, it’s 12 hours a day. It’s not worth it, and I know it.