Let’s imagine a chick egg with a shell that is unusually hard compared to the others. Among dozens of chicks, there is one egg that cannot hatch.

Why does the chick have to exert more effort than the others? Perhaps the chick should never have been born, as the price it would have to pay for the freedom it sought was too high… Perhaps its beak would break, perhaps its foot, perhaps it would lead a life with a tragic ending.

Should it break the shell?
Or should it wait for death inside the egg?

Both seem to lead to a painful end… Even to die, it must suffer. Yet the shell was meant to protect it; perhaps another predatory bird would have broken the egg and eaten it, but the shell protected it… 

But what if it cannot break the shell itself? What then?


I compare my life to this chick’s egg. My entire life has been surrounded by walls, invisible walls I could never break through, so high that perhaps the only thing I saw were walls, and I wasn’t even aware of it. For years I tried to overcome them, but each time someone kicked me and sent me back to the bottom, and each time I sank even deeper… Every time I tried to climb oMetaphorut, I ended up in a worse situation, more prone to suicide. Over time, I began to hate every part of myself that made me who I am. How painful it is to have to live in hiding, trying to adapt to others in a gender you’ve never felt. Then you become numb, and nothing matters anymore.

One way to understand how far behind you are in life is to think about how free you are. If you still don’t have a job, haven’t developed yourself in any field, and still live with your family… You start to comfort yourself! It’s

never too late for anything. Blah blah blah.

Am I going to waste the best years of my life to build an average life that isn’t worth it? Is this the price of all the pain?
How far will we strive and how much pain will we endure? Is there no end to this? Clearly not, and clearly it won’t end. The person who stands in front of the mirror every time to comfort themselves. As time goes on, they will realize they have grown up, and as time goes on, they will realize how pitiful they are, and one day, perhaps, they will want to end all the pain.