“They Said My Life Was Over…”

Sometimes I receive feedback—
From my followers, and even from people who don’t follow or like me.
Sometimes it comes through email, sometimes through social media.
I try to evaluate it with reason.
If there’s truth in it, I take it and apply it to my life.
The rest? I toss it straight into the trash.

And then there’s feedback from people in my so-called close circle.
Relatives. “Friends.”
People who don’t really know who I am at all.
But still, I listen.
I used to believe listening never hurts.
But maybe… I was wrong.

I heard something recently that shook me deeply:
“Your life is over.”
What?
How?
But… why?

My body started trembling without permission.
A wave of fear crawled through me.
My heart began to slow.
You don’t even know me.
You know nothing about what I’ve lived through.
Why say something like that?

It’s not that easy to ignore.
Because I’ve heard this kind of thing more than once—
From more than one person.
It’s no longer just annoying.
It’s devastating.

So I started thinking…
Did I already lose?
And I just never realized it?

There’s never been a clear path ahead of me.
Have I just been lying to myself this whole time?
Was my entire story… just a fantasy?

No.
I don’t want to believe that.
But I feel the darkness inside me.
All the nightmares I’ve ever had are attacking me again.
All the monsters I used to be afraid of as a child—
Now I walk toward them like I’m drunk,
Fully aware of how much they can hurt me.

There’s a fog in my mind.
Is it normal to feel this foreign to myself?

I think…
I die a little more every day, without even realizing it.
And if one day I stop writing this blog—
Please don’t forget me.

Because I won’t forget the hope I once felt.
Not ever.