July 24, 2025

Today is my fourth day at work, and it’s getting easier, but working for 12 hours straight is still incredibly exhausting.
What’s even more frustrating is that I’ll be spending all the money I earned in the last three days on domain and hosting services. If I don’t do it now, the price will only increase over the coming months, and that would be a problem. Honestly, waiting until New Year’s sounds more reasonable—but there’s no guarantee I’ll have money then either. I need to do some simple math.

If I want to extend my domain for 3 years, it normally costs $94, but thanks to a promotion, I paid $53. That’s the equivalent of two days’ worth of my wages. If we assume I work 12 hours per day, then this means I worked 24 hours for it…

As I’m writing this, I’ve already paid $53 and extended my hosting for another 3 years. Now, I need to extend the domain too, which will cost $28—almost a full day’s wage for me—but I’ll pay it. Probably tomorrow or the day after. I think that’s enough for today. I love you all 🥺

Bad news… Apparently, the place I work at will be open to the public on July 25, 26, and 27. That means I won’t be going in on those days, because they’re expecting at least 10,000 visitors per day, and I definitely cannot work under those conditions. We’ve already put in so much effort just to prepare for the visits from ranked officers and government officials. Any more than this would truly break me.
I’m already struggling a lot because of a herniated disc in my back and an injury in my foot.

I really need to get confirmation about whether the site will be open to the public or not. Then, I’ll make my decision.


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July 25, 2025

Today started off well, but sadly, it didn’t continue that way. In one of my previous blog posts, I talked about toxic friendships and shared a story from my own experience—you might remember…
Well, today I ended that friendship. And I’m happy about it, because I’ve wanted to end it for a long time anyway. This just gave me the excuse I needed.

Today is also my last day at work. I won’t be working on July 26 and 27.
Tomorrow I’ll return home early and rest a bit… I never imagined I could get this tired and emotional in just 5 days.
I’ll probably buy an energy drink and walk happily around my room, back and forth, listening to my favorite songs.

There’s a chance I’ll go home this evening after work instead of waiting for tomorrow—there’s really no point in staying, even if I’m tired. I need to go home.

“You were always natural with them,
They were always strategic with you.”

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July 26, 2025

I was really tired yesterday, so I couldn’t continue writing. Now I want to write what I couldn’t yesterday.
I left work around 8 PM, and even though I was exhausted, I came home. It took more than 2 hours, but I made it.

It was both a sad day and a day where I finally did things I’d been meaning to do.
I cut ties with a friend I no longer wanted in my life. I had been meaning to end the friendship for a long time, but I needed a reason—and it came naturally. I feel more peaceful now, and happier.
We already talked about this in the blog post I wrote on toxic friendships… I want to write another post about this topic soon, but I’m very tired, so I’ll probably leave it for tomorrow.
I did write a blog post today and scheduled it for July 27, 2025.

Other than that… I’m still depressed.
I realized I need to train myself in expressing emotions better. No matter what I write, I still feel misunderstood.

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July 29, 2025

The past two days have been pretty stable. I’ve been in my room, mostly playing games and watching YouTube videos…
It’s so hot outside that even going to the market makes me sweat excessively. With temperatures between 87–95°F and extreme humidity, it’s just unbearable.

I’m waiting on two packages—some bras and a dress I ordered. I need to get them without anyone seeing and pack them in my suitcase.
Actually, I bought about five pieces of clothing from the local street market, but I didn’t like any of them and they didn’t fit me. So I donated them.
Still, I need to take out some more stuff from my suitcase and donate those too—there’s a lot I don’t wear.

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July 30, 2025

Yesterday I changed the cover images for a few recent blog posts—especially the more important ones. They now have more cartoonish styles, and they look so much better!
From now on, I’ll try to use better and more professional-looking cover images for all my blog posts. 😍

My bras finally arrived—and I tried them all on. I bought six, and every single one is beautiful 😍
I’m so excited for the day I start taking estrogen and the day my breasts start to grow… the day I truly feel like a woman.
The hard part about waiting is not knowing how long you’ll be waiting.

Maybe tomorrow, maybe sooner than that,
Maybe never, maybe something beyond nothingness.

It’s a road without guarantees—but even so, life isn’t livable without hope.

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July 31, 2025

I’m waiting for the dress I bought today to arrive — yesterday my lingerie was delivered, and today my evening gown is coming too 🥰
I really hope it fits me perfectly because it’s such a beautiful gown, and the price was incredibly affordable… and it’s pink 🥺

As soon as it arrives, I’ll put it straight into my suitcase and wait until tonight… I’m so impatient 🫡🥹

I’ll try to take a photo wearing the dress, and if I manage to get a shot I like, I might share it…
It seems a bit risky, but I’ll decide based on how I feel 💃

Update: I received my dress and it’s absolutely beautiful — and it fits me perfectly 🥺🩷
I’m really excited and can’t wait for tonight 🥺

Besides that, I wrote a few blog posts yesterday and today, scheduled to be published by August 8 🥹
If anything spontaneous comes up, I’ll write and share it right away 🥰