Years Ago on YouTube 🎥

Years ago, I used to create different content on YouTube, in different time periods; I made podcasts and gaming videos. I was very hopeful and enthusiastic. Whenever I failed in one area, I immediately moved on to another and prayed. I still remember the dreams I imagined in my mind and the prayers I made for each one.

Prayers to meet a celebrity I admired, to become rich, to become famous, to be successful… I had a youth full of passion and prayers. One of those prayers is connected to these times, and to help you understand better, I need to go into detail… so we need to talk about the game that came out in 2013 and whose videos were shared millions of times on YouTube, which also stayed as a dream in me: “GTA 5.”

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The Freedom to Play a Game ✨

Here, it’s important to understand that it’s not just about GTA 5—the point was the freedom to play, a freedom I didn’t have. About 11 years had passed since GTA 5’s release when I finally played it properly. Before that, I had played briefly in an internet café once or twice—but even that was around 8 years later.

In mid-2024, I finally played it on a computer I bought with my own money. I went online, created my character, bought a house, and started exploring the map. I was about to make friends, but unfortunately, my computer’s graphics card broke very soon, and I fell into depression. The person I bought it from had scammed me, and I had purchased it with the money I had earned over a week.

I lost all my joy in life… I went to bed and did nothing for weeks. I was so unhappy that when the graphics card broke, I couldn’t accept the situation and tried to fix it, but it was futile. I went to bed without shedding a single tear. I quietly accepted it and gave up.


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A Difficult Childhood and Lost Hope for the Future 🌧️

Until mid-2024, I didn’t properly own a computer, and I had always been left behind in every aspect of life… At least when I had access to a computer for YouTube, I focused on it, and that’s when I prayed:

“When GTA 6 comes out, I want things to change. I want to be recognized! I want the days when I have the freedom to play, millions following me, and of course, I want to be rich…”

I repeated these words to myself as a prayer.


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Hope for GTA 6 🌟

Now, there’s about a year left until GTA 6’s release, and I still want to believe there’s hope. How could I live if I threw away all my hope? Maybe I’m deceiving myself, but it doesn’t matter. No matter how difficult my life is, only I feel it, and that’s why others don’t fully understand how hard it is. Every feeling I describe seems simple, but every time I’ve been on the brink of breaking down. How could I possibly convey all these heavy emotions to you?