People say life is nothing but choices; I’m sure you’ve heard that before.
Today, I want to talk about how these choices shaped my life — and how meaningful they actually are.

I don’t want to be where I am today.
Did I try to change it? Yes.
Did all my efforts work? Unfortunately, no.

Struggle and Wasted Effort

I tried so hard not to end up at this point. I tried my luck in many areas to create a better life, but no matter what I did, life kept pulling me back here, and most of what I did felt pointless. When I compare who I am today with my childhood self, I hate who I’ve become. The dreams I failed to achieve pass before my eyes, and all I can do is helplessly watch.

Did spending the entire year on my blog and content creation give me anything? No. With every attempt, I burned out a little more; my mood changed; over the years, I became a completely different person. I was betrayed repeatedly for reasons beyond my control. I tried to find a job, I tried to professionalize my blog, I tested dozens of concepts for social media. And I still ask myself:
Is it fair to work thirteen hours and earn only twenty‑eight dollars?
If you knew how much it hurts to give your entire day and receive so little in return…

Was it my choice to be betrayed over and over in my relationships? No. Yet here I am, still stuck in that swamp. I pushed myself so hard trying to escape that I ended up on the edge of suicide.

Anger, Responsibility, and Realism

I’m not saying these things to get pity — the opposite. I’m angry. Mostly at myself. If you want to achieve something, you have to be realistic; you can’t lie to yourself. I look at things realistically, and one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is this:
You need to be a little bit of a dreamer too.
Balancing those two extremes is something I’ve never managed in my entire life.

What Should I Do Now?

I need to stop and think. Just think. That’s why I’ve been writing less for the past month — because I’ve been thinking more. I need ideas that actually work. I need to change my strategy. I need to figure out what resources I need for this process, and act accordingly. Thinking isn’t as easy as doing, which is why I want to analyze things systematically — what works, what doesn’t, and which steps will genuinely move me forward.

Questions I Ask Myself

Why should people follow me?
Is my blog good enough?
Should I change things on my social media accounts?
Is my story actually interesting?

Instead of writing pages and pages answering these individually, I want to answer them as a whole.

The Value of My Story

Whether my story is interesting or not doesn’t actually matter.
Because I’m not writing fiction; I’m writing what I lived, what broke me, what gave me hope, what I truly felt. What someone else thinks of that is not what defines me. What matters is how the people who genuinely hear my inner voice feel about it. The most valuable things I’ve received in this process are life advice and suggestions about my blog.

Since the day I launched my blog, I’ve made countless changes. I worked really hard to bring it to where it is today. I did everything I could technically, and I think my current knowledge isn’t enough to push it much further — at least for now.

Social Media Changes

I constantly change my content on social media, hoping that one day it will actually work. But for months, there has been no meaningful result. Still, I keep trying.

These days, I’m focusing more on YouTube and Instagram. I’ve almost completely stopped posting on TikTok for nearly two weeks; honestly, I lost hope there. On Instagram, I’m still trying to put things into place.

During this process, I deleted many videos — from all my accounts.

“Why Should People Follow Me?”

The answer is complicated but also very simple.

In this world, being famous has nothing to do with being the best.
It’s because it’s written in your destiny.

Think about the most famous people in the world.
Why are they famous?
Can you give a real, logical answer?
No. Because there isn’t one.

There will always be people who sing better, act better, look better, are smarter, are funnier. No matter who you are, there will always be someone better.

That’s why “being good enough” means nothing on its own.

There is only one explanation for someone becoming a star:
It was meant to happen.

So here’s how I see it:
If it’s in my destiny, it will happen anyway.
All I need to do is take steps, keep going, and let time reveal whether doors will open for me.