This timeline doesn’t include everything.It only holds what I can remember, what I can share, and what I’m able to make sense of from where I stand today.Some details are missing, some emotions are unfinished, and some moments still don’t fit into words. For deeper stories, turning points, and feelings, you can read my blog posts.These lines are a small note to myself, and a quiet invitation for those who choose to read. Thank you 🤍
2002-2009
Ages 0–7 — My Early Sense of Self
• My family constantly emotionally frightened me.When I leaned out of the window, they told me that the devil would pull me from the balcony.
• My older brother used to beat me regularly.It was a form of violence that was normalized at the time,but it left deep marks on me.
• There was a woman they used to scare me with.One day, my finger got stuck in a steel door,but because I was so afraid of her, I couldn’t even open my mouth to cry.
• The first prayer I remember dates back to my childhood.I had a rosary with 500 beads, and with a child’s mind,I recited blessings to become rich.
• I was generally very quiet.A withdrawn, dreamy child, living mostly in my inner world.
2010
The First Opportunity I Lost in My Life
• It was around 2010. At that time, getting Bitcoin was surprisingly easy.In fact, you could receive free Bitcoin just by completing a simple “I’m not a robot” verification.
• However, there was a problem:To store Bitcoin, you needed an exchange wallet, and opening one required a phone number.
• Due to the fearful and overly cautious structure of the family I was living in,and my father’s passive attitude, I couldn’t move forward with it.
• Without fully realizing it at the time, I walked away from the first major opportunity of my life.
2012
A New Home, A New Life, New People
♡ New PeopleIt was the summer of 2012.I had just finished 3rd grade, received my report card, and came home.Shortly after, we began packing our house to move.
♡ I started 4th grade at a different school.I made new friends, both at school and in the neighborhood.
♡ I got along well with kids my age in the neighborhood for two to three years,up until 7th grade, when I broke my foot.Before that, we spent our time having fun together outside.
♡ This move became the biggest turning point in my lifewhen it came to recognizing and understanding my gender identity
2016
The Most Important Breaking Point of My Life
♡ It was the year that changed me the most.An accident I went through transformed me deeply.
♡ I was responsible for the accident.With only one class left before the school day ended,I tried to skip school.I failed—and broke my foot.
♡ For nearly three months,I had to sleep in my bed unable to move.
♡ Psychologically, this was the first major fracture of my life.It felt as if the accident was a price I was payingfor the wrong things I had done before.
2012 – 2017
The Years I Started Thinking, but Couldn’t Yet Be Honest With Myself
♡ During my primary and middle school years, I was very religious.I prayed constantly, trying to understand myself while holding onto hope for my future.
♡ Deep inside, my heart was waiting for me to admit that I wanted to be a woman,but I chose not to listen.Instead, I convinced myself that I was in love with a girl my age—though in truth, I didn’t even love her.
♡ These were the years when summers mattered more to me.I would go out onto the balcony and pray.At that time, I admired Inna deeply—I listened to her songs over and over, lost in daydreams.
♡ It was a strange middle school period.I was emotional, vulnerable, and desperately in need of love
Mid-2017
My First Attempt at Creating Content on Social Media
♡ For the first time in my life, I tried producing content regularly on social media.
♡ I started sharing fun videos on Instagram.
♡ I spent months creating content to grow the page.At the same time, I was about to start my first year of high school.
♡ During this period, I was also active in follow-back groups,and I even made friends through them.
♡ Unfortunately, some time after starting high school,I ended up closing the page.
2020-2021
My Second Social Media Era
♡ During my second attempt at social media, I tried to continue my journey on YouTube.
♡ The first videos I recorded were podcast-style content,but due to legal concerns, I decided to stop and leave the project unfinished.
♡ Thinking it would be a safer option, I then started recording videoswhere I talked directly to the audience in front of the camera.They were mostly philosophy-themed, but they were hard to watch,and I was afraid my surroundings would make fun of me,so I abandoned this idea as well.
♡ Finally, I opened a YouTube channel where I recorded and uploaded gaming videos.I remember that it was during Ramadan when I started this channel.I used to record videos until sahur.
♡ I only wish I could remember the exact month and year more clearly.
2022
Attempts, Silence, and the Will to Begin Again
♡ I opened a TikTok account for Adriana’s Wings.It grew over time and reached 15,000 followers.Unfortunately, I fell into depression and eventually closed the account.
♡ This year, for the first time in my life, I launched two different websites,trying to communicate and connect with people.
♡ One of them was a news–blog website.The other was more personal — a place where I shared my story and asked for help.
♡ I opened one more website as well.More than the content, I fell in love with its domain name.Sometimes, even a name alone can give you hope.
2023
The Year I Couldn’t Endure
♡ This was the year I attempted suicide.For the first time in my life, my will to keep living completely collapsed.
♡ During this period, I was forcibly sent to a psychologist against my will.Before that, I had been seeing a psychologist who understood me and shared my perspective.My family rejected that psychologist with insults and instead chose someone who aligned with their own views, directing me there.
♡ Later, I learned that the psychologist I was sent to had been accused of pedophiliaand was linked to cases in which children had lost their lives.Learning this became one of the most shocking and devastating truths of my life.
♡ These experiences gave rise to the deepest hatred I have ever felt.My trust in people, in safety, and in systems was almost entirely destroyed.
♡ At the same time, this was the year I experienced the heaviest depression of my life.Everything I had been holding inside collapsed at once,and I ran out of the strength to endure.
2024
Adriana’s Wings
♡ I repurchased the domain and hosting for Adriana’s Wings for the second time.It was a quiet testament to the fact that I hadn’t given up.
♡ This was the year I worked for the first time in my life.It was also the year I bought women’s clothing for myself for the first time.I tried to build my own computer, but I couldn’t succeed.This experience pushed me into depression again, andin that state, I reopened Adrianaswings.com.
♡ Around March 2024, I started recording videos to preserve memories for the future.However, I later regretted it and deleted everything.
♡ On November 7, 2024, I purchased my S24 Ultra phone,which helped me develop this blog and reach the point I am at today.
♡ In the same year, I lost approximately $5,000 in cryptocurrency investments.
2025
New Beginnings
♡ This year, I experienced my first real vacation by going to the village.It was simple, yet unforgettable.
♡ On April 4, 2025, I purchased the domain acelya.blog,and I truly began designing and shaping my blog in my own style.
♡ It was also the year I started posting regularly on my social media accountsand nurtured great hopes for the future.
♡ During this year, I made a new friend andfinally removed all the toxic people from my life up until that point.
