Before I started, I wanted to write about all my hair removal days;

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1st session
November 11, 2025
Second session
November 18, 2025
Third session
November 25, 2025
Fourth session
December 2, 2025
5th session
December 9, 2025
6th Session
December 16, 2025
7th session
December 23, 2025
8th session
December 30, 2025
9th session
January 6, 2026
10th session
January 13, 2026
11th Session
January 27, 2026

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I used a home laser hair removal device on the highest setting on my body for about 10 weeks straight, and honestly, I didn’t get the results I was expecting. Unfortunately, the hair is still growing. And it’s not just that — in some areas of my body, there’s hair in one spot but none right next to it. So it doesn’t affect everywhere evenly.

I realized that I need to go to a professional clinic. The problem is that I have male biology — my testosterone levels are quite high — and no matter how much I do this, it doesn’t seem to work effectively. I probably need to start the gender transition process first, and during that time, I should go to a professional center.

Honestly, I’m disappointed. I was expecting a beautiful result… At least I was hoping to see something change in my body. Look, shaving my entire body every week and applying laser hair removal alone is definitely very hard. On top of that, I have to do it secretly in my own room. I haven’t faced any criticism, but I had big hopes that it would work, and I’m disappointed. Now I’m thinking about what my next plan will be. I have an idea in mind, but I don’t know… I’m not sure whether it could harm me or not. But before that, I just want to vent a little, because I don’t feel good.

About a week ago, I wrote my first English blog post and said I would work hard, but I couldn’t. I fell back into depression again. I know, even you must be tired of hearing it, but this is the reality of my life.

“Knowing the path and walking the path are different things.”

That’s exactly what I mean. Everything looks easy on paper, but when it comes to putting it into practice, things become blurry.

Before starting this, based on the comments and videos I had watched, I saw that the effort would be worth it. The important detail I missed was that in all those videos and comments, there were women — so it was working for female biology. But I have male biology [because of estrogen and testosterone differences].

So if a woman does it once, maybe I don’t know — maybe I need to do it five times. At first, I could tell whether it was working by looking at the length of the hair that grew back before the next week’s session. In the first weeks, it didn’t work, but slowly I started to notice that the hair was growing thinner and less. But not the way you might think — it’s still growing a lot, and it’s not enough. That’s why I’m disappointed.

Now let’s come to the question: what will I do next?

Honestly, the idea in my mind is to shave every day and do laser hair removal every day. But like I said, it’s not easy — or maybe it is easy, I don’t know.

Ramadan will start in a few days. During that period, I could both control my weight and maybe get better results by doing laser hair removal every day.

Ramadan starts on February 19, 2026. I need to decide by then.

Honestly, I don’t know. I’ll think about it