I wrote the title as “Dream” and put it under “draft”. It has been about 3-4 months. Actually, when I wrote the first title, my aim was to write about the meanings we attribute to dreams, but since I am depressed again, I will think of it as “The future I dream of” and I will write something about it.

I wrote my first blog post on November 8, 2024. My first social media post was probably around that time. It’s been exactly 4 months already. It is impossible to understand how quickly time passes. I think how far have I come in these 4 months? I haven’t come very far, actually. I shared my first short video on November 17, 2024 and I still have 44 subscribers. I had to change my content many times. I deleted a lot of videos and had to start over. It taught me a lot, of course. I learned how to produce better quality content and which tools to use.

That’s not the only thing I learned. Thanks to the feedback I got from the people I met at various times, I took steps that you don’t dare to take. One of them was to make my own photo my profile picture. Of course, I couldn’t continue talking to any of them after that.

“Don’t attach too much meaning to most people. They fulfill their mission in your life and leave.”

As is true of this promise. I have learned something from everyone. These are important lessons and more importantly, you will never understand them until you experience them first hand.

If I need to talk about the situations in my daily life in general, nothing is going well as usual. I’m just trying to live. Most of the day I keep the earphones in my ears and just daydream. Most of the time I open the window and look outside and try to disconnect from life for a few minutes and find peace and I also think about the obstacles that I have to dare and break. I have to break these obstacles at any cost. One of them is of course the fact that I will be alone at some point in my life. If things go well, I will have to argue with my family and relatives (I don’t like any of them anyway) and I will have to leave them all and start my own life. I can’t imagine the argument in those moments. When I am strong, I need a spark. After that spark, I would never hesitate to set things on fire. I don’t want to spend my life like this.

Of course, I have no idea what will happen tomorrow, let alone months and years from now. I’m of course thinking about the best case scenarios, but maybe even in the next year this website will be stable, but what will I do? Where will I work in the meantime? These are important questions. When will “Adriana’s Wings” take off? Can I handle a different war? I don’t know. It’s quite scary.