I’m here with a new problem that is sitting at the center of my life. Of course, because I haven’t had any new problems for a while and I was quite surprised.

I am facing the problem of military service. In my country there is compulsory military service and only men have to do it. 6 months and I will be in the same place with dozens of men I don’t know, who probably haven’t trained themselves. The stories I’ve heard from those who have been in the army before are quite disturbing and definitely not for me. You might think that they are really protecting the country, but actually no. Not at all. The reality is very different. I will spend 6 months without learning any information that is not useful to me.

That’s not the only problem. If you don’t go, they give you a pink document. When you get this pink document, you cannot work in any public and private institution in your country. so they look at you as disabled and sick. It is very difficult to make a living on your own. If you have a family business this may not concern you, but for people like me this is an important problem.

Moreover, I have to apply for a health test for the next 12 months. If I wait and want to apply for a job right now, I won’t be able to get a job. At this point I have 2 options.or.

In Option first, I can get the Pink document and when I request asylum in Germany or Scandinavian countries, this can be very useful to me because as I said, if you get this document, forget about getting a job.

In the second option, I can postpone it for 6 months, but this will not do anything, it will only delay the truth. Here, there will be those who say get a job first and then get a pink document. When applying for a job, you must have a document stating that you have nothing to do with military service. So you must either be gone or exempt.

I absolutely do not want to do military service. Psychologically, it can be a horrible experience that can lead me to suicide. As an individual who feels like a woman, it is not possible to come out of this situation with a sound psychology. I am already dealing with huge psychological problems and I am barely surviving. This would be a terrible experience on top of that. I have to solve this big problem. It is not easy to get the Pink Certificate. They want to talk to people around you. I don’t have anybody in my circle to talk to. I have to go through this whole process in secret.

I can use the pink document as an important document for asylum. This is a big crisis and I have to turn it into an opportunity. Of course, this process does not end with acceptance. Many questions like where will I stay? What will I do? There are important steps I need to take on my own. To take these steps, first of all, money is needed. Earning this money is one of the biggest problems. If I am going to apply for asylum in a social state, I need 3-5 thousand € on average. This is a huge amount of money. If I find a job somewhere, my salary is “600 €”. I have to work for at least 1 year without spending anything. Other than that, the problems are much bigger than that.

Because I have to prove the problem I’m having, I have to write an important piece of writing, and I honestly have no idea how to prove it. This is the information I have;

● The official medical record of my suicide.

● Official proof that I was institutionalized.

Apart from these two pieces of evidence, I have experienced many other events, but it is not possible to document them. For example, in the summer of 2023 I was forcibly sent to a psychologist and saw him continuously for about 2 months.

The psychologist I was sent to made me stop my antidepressants and forcibly took my cell phone from me. I heard a lot of insults. You will be a whore, you will be on the street, no one will treat you as a human being, you will not find a job, you will be a sex addict, you will get sick, you will go to hell… Before I left the hospital, she told me that the prosecutor was about to make a “no will” decision about me and that they had changed the prosecutor’s decision. This situation frightened me a lot. Therefore, I believed every lie that was told to me.

This whole process is so illegal… God, no one will believe me. If I could prove the gravity of what I’ve been through, I would definitely be accepted immediately, but that’s not possible. I don’t have a single document. Of course I will tell them, but it will take more than that to convince them. I have to think about it.