Sometimes life just squeezes you from the inside. Everything around you looks the same, but you’re breaking apart quietly within. Then one morning—or maybe one evening—or maybe with no reason at all, you just say, “I can’t keep going like this.” That’s where I am right now.

I’ve made big decisions. They may seem small from the outside, but they’re the kind of changes that shift the entire direction of a life. Learning English. Going on a diet. Becoming more active on social media. And… making friends.

These aren’t just goals on a list. They’re promises I’m making to myself. I may be bruised and tired, but I’m still standing—and this time, I’m moving forward.


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Learning English: This Time for Real

English has always been a dream I tried to grab but could never hold onto. Courses, apps, notebooks… I started so many times with excitement, only to stop again.
But this time feels different. Because I’m not saying “I want to learn English” anymore — I’m saying “I have to.”

Whether I’m playing a game, making friends, watching a movie… English is everywhere. The world speaks this language. And I don’t want to just listen anymore — I want to be part of the conversation.


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Dieting: To Look in the Mirror With Peace

My relationship with my body has always been complicated. Sometimes even looking in the mirror feels heavy. I get angry at myself, then feel sorry, then try not to care… but none of it really works.
So I want to take a step now. Dieting, for me, isn’t just about losing weight. It’s about showing respect to my body — and through that, to my soul.

I want to feel lighter — not just physically, but mentally too.


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Social Media: Reclaiming My Voice

About two weeks ago, I joined Reddit. I already have 1700 karma, though I still don’t really know what karma does 😅
But my main focus is TikTok and YouTube.

I used to have a TikTok account called adrianaswings with 16,000 followers. Looking back, deleting it feels like a big mistake. But what’s done is done.
Now, I have a new account with 1,850 followers, and that gives me hope. I believe I can do even better this time. I’ll be smarter. More intentional. And more present.


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Friendship: Somewhere Between Uncertainty and Hope

I want to make new friends — truly. But this area is… tricky. Almost everyone I talk to ends up trying to flirt with me. And that makes me uncomfortable.
What I long for is genuine friendship. A connection that’s real, honest, and unconditional.

So I’m being cautious right now. Listening. Observing. Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to try again. But for now, I’m just thinking.


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My life is changing. Because I’ve chosen to change.
These decisions aren’t easy — but I was never an easy person to begin with. There’s beauty in the difficult, because effort lives there.

One day, I hope I’ll come back to this post and say, “That’s when everything began.”
And deep down, I believe I will.

With love,
Açelya 🌷


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