Tag: mental health
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I Don’t Know What Tomorrow Holds. I Only Hope.
These days I don’t know what to do with myself. While wandering through the world I’ve built inside my own mind, I pretend to like people I don’t like in the real world. I’m deceiving myself because I’m suppressing my unhappiness and my hopes — as always. I think about the dreams I hope will…
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Why am I constantly depressed? I’m trying to learn English…
I’ve realized that my writings are quite depressive. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that many people see this as exaggerated, but I’m writing the truth. I write in whatever psychological state I’m in during the day — neither more nor less. I don’t write what should be, I write what is. Mine is not…
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I have a weak mind.
This is a heavy self-criticism, at least that’s what I planned when I started writing, because I don’t know how honestly I can speak to myself. I am not in a time when I should be criticizing myself; right now, without questioning whose fault it is, I should find a way to escape the life…
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When Hope Fades, Only Questions Remain
🌫 Empty Mind, Heavy Heart I once said I would share a blog every three days, but I can’t keep up with that. These days my mind feels completely empty, and I don’t know what to write. I don’t want to write just for the sake of it, but since I love expressing my feelings,…
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I’m 23, but I already have gray hairs
Maybe I’m already too late for everything. Maybe the time has long passed, and I’m walking toward a dark, dead-end street where no one exists. Or maybe that road never existed at all, and it’s nothing but fragments of hope in my own mind. Today, I thought about the gray hairs that have appeared in…
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I think I’ll listen to music and play games.
A few blog posts ago, I think it was in the weekly update, I shared that I needed to start taking steps toward gender transition… For some reason, I have to postpone it again… I was staying at my friend’s house and we were getting along very well, but we had an argument and I…
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Nobody cared
Today, I have to write something important. Because something inside me is quietly breaking. Among all the thoughts spinning in my head lately, I’ve recognized a few emotions… Dangerous emotions. And to help you understand them, I need to take you back. Back to a little child. In middle school, I was—like always—introverted, overly emotional,…
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Left Alone with My Own Darkness
Not a day goes by without the weight inside me growing heavier. A sadness I can’t fully name settles on my chest… Sometimes I’m not even doing anything—just walking down the street or catching my reflection in a shop window… and my eyes begin to fill with tears. Something deep within me can’t take it…
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The Silent Scream of Accumulated Hatred
There is a growing hatred inside me. Silent, yet burning… A hatred for the land I live in, for the people who stole what was mine, for those who shattered my heart and then wore innocence like a mask. It grows—this hatred—for everyone and everything. Even the last fragments of my will to live are…
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“It Feels Like I’ve Already Lost My Mind… and No One Noticed”
There are so many problems in my life, and I’m tired of pretending like they don’t exist. I no longer want to live as if I’m strong, act like I’m cheerful, or smile like everything’s okay… because nothing is. I need a touch of magic now. Maybe it’s not real… but some part of me…
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After a Series Ends
April 11, 2025. 00:05~ “After a Series Ends” The date I started the series March 30, 2025. 2:55 AM. And today April 11, 2025. 00:00. When the final scene of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina froze on my screen, something inside me froze with it.It was over.And once again, I was left alone with the emptiness.…
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Caught Between Two Ends
Sometimes life feels like being trapped between two extremes. One part of me whispers that everything is over,While another part still clings to the will to live.Somewhere deep inside, there’s still a sunny day,And somewhere else, it feels like I’ve lost that sun forever. I close my eyes to reality.Because every time I open them,…
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The Silence of the Night: A Whisper of Desperation
The Silence of the Night: A Whisper of Desperation April 6. It’s 2:49 AM.I can’t sleep. There’s something heavy in my chest, a weight I can’t seem to lift. Tonight, I sent a message to a friend who’s in a better financial situation than me.Maybe I shouldn’t have. Maybe I should’ve. I honestly don’t know.…
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On the Edge of Infinity
Lately, I’ve been dealing with an unbearable pain in my lower back.I can’t sit properly. I can’t bend without wincing.I can’t even meet my most basic personal needs without struggle.It feels like my body is no longer listening to me—Like it’s slowly giving up, just like my soul already has. I was already exhausted, already…
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Lost Behind Time
There was a time when everything felt easier. I could finish an entire season of a show in one day. I would get lost in stories, live alongside the characters, and lose track of time. Watching a movie used to take me away from reality for a while. But now? Now, I can’t even focus…
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Hard Days, Heavy Burdens, and chasing a dream
Hard Days, Heavy Burdens, and Chasing a Dream Lately, watching what’s happening in my country fills me with deep despair. Injustice is so blatant that people have started questioning the very concept of fairness. When the judiciary is not independent and the law serves only a select few, how can we trust the future? But…
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At the bottom
I have no money left because I lost all my money recently. I can’t even pay my phone bill. I am trying to solve the problem somehow by using the bank campaign. It is not even possible to work anymore because “compulsory military service” will cause bigger problems than I thought. I researched in more…
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I FEEL LIKE I’M GONNA DIE.
I don’t know why, but for some time now I have had a feeling that I am going to die. I try to explain it but my words are not enough. I don’t know why I have this feeling. My eyes hurt and bleed. I also feel dizzy. It’s been happening a lot lately and…
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Needing someone else
Today I would like to talk about being dependent on an ignorant, evil, selfish and pathetic person for any reason. Being dependent on a kind-hearted person may not be so painful, but being dependent on a person with the disgusting characteristics I mentioned can lead to irreversible psychological collapse. It should be considered as a…
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Despair
Look, dear, what we’re going to talk about today is a little different. In crypto, you know, there’s leverage. You can open a long or short position up to 100 times your money, and depending on the position you open, you can make 100 times your money or lose everything in a small fall or…
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