Blog Entry Date: May 12, 2026

Throughout my life, the issue that has made me feel the most uncomfortable with my body has been my body hair. It was the biggest reason I was constantly made fun of during my school years; they even gave me the nickname “Werewolf.” Having hair on literally every single part of my body bothers me to an extreme degree. The anxiety about my physical appearance has always been at the root of the difficulties I face when communicating with people.

Besides, I already have a very passive and timid nature compared to a typical male. My eyebrows, eyelashes—basically my entire facial features—are perfectly suited to female anatomy; now imagine having a hormonal imbalance on top of that… Visualize the two together: without the hair, my eyebrows, eyelashes, and bone structure look completely feminine; but with the hair, I look like neither a woman nor a man. I looked like a literal cross between a “werewolf” and a monkey. No wonder people made fun of me.

The IPL Experience and Disappointment

To solve this problem, I purchased an IPL device on November 11, 2025. I used it regularly for 11 weeks. A day before each session, I would shave my entire body, and the next day, I would apply the device. However, the result was a total disappointment; I got almost zero efficiency from it. There wasn’t even the slightest reduction in any area of my body; all my efforts went to waste. The first time I shaved my entire body, it took me a full 3 hours. At that moment, I felt so scared and overwhelmed that I started thinking I wouldn’t be able to handle this. Yet, I believe that when I am free of my body hair, I actually have a very good physique, just the way I want it.

A New Hope: The Epilator

Last night (the night connecting May 11 to May 12), I shaved my entire body again. Since the last time I shaved was on January 27, 2026, the process took about 2 hours. My current shaver is insufficient for this density, but since I need to manage my budget carefully, I am sticking with it for now.

So, why did I shave again? Because I am going to try a new method. This time, instead of an IPL device, I bought a Braun Silk-épil 3 3-202 model epilator. The device promises to keep hair from growing back for a month. If it keeps this promise, it will be a miracle for me; I am more than willing to go through this process once a month. I ordered the device two days ago, and I think it will be delivered today. I will update the process again after I experience it.

Success, Intelligence, and Uncertainty

It is currently 12:58 AM, and I am deep in those profound thoughts again. The concept of “success,” in particular, is occupying my mind. The research I do on wealthy and successful people always leads to the same point: most of them inherited their wealth, a portion comes from already rich families, and the remaining tiny minority are geniuses who dropped out of prestigious schools like Oxford to start companies.

Lately, I am being very harsh on myself. Am I as smart as them? Am I as lucky as them? I don’t know the answers to these questions yet. Actually, the answers are somewhere inside me, but I don’t have the courage to be that honest with myself just yet. Am I just a simple dreamer spinning fantasies in her own world, or am I something much more? Time will tell.

Update: May 14, 2026

Oh my god… It makes so much noise that no matter where you go in the house, you can hear it, and it is just incredibly loud… I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I can feel the hairs being pulled out by their roots so deeply that I can’t even describe it to you.

The hairs are slowly starting to grow back on my body, and in a few days, I will need to clean my entire body with the epilator. I can handle the pain, but I have to solve the noise issue because I don’t want the other family members at home to hear it—I am trying to do this secretly. Normally, I would do it at night, but it makes even more noise at night, so I will try it again during the afternoon hours.

While writing this blog, I was also thinking about the second episode of the new concept I prepared for my YouTube channel. I scheduled the first episode for May 18, 2026, at 7:00 PM, and I’m trying to figure out what to talk about in the new episode… Anyway, that’s not our topic right now, but please don’t forget to watch it.

Ultimately, if it works and no hair grows on my body for a month, I am willing to endure this pain; I can do this. I don’t know how I’m going to manage my back since my hands can’t reach it, but I will try my best…

Update: May 16, 2026

Today is the weekend, but I still haven’t found the courage to do my entire body with the epilator. It really hurts so much, I don’t know how to do it, but I know very well that I have to… I might handle the pain somehow, but the noise is a bigger problem. It’s so uncomfortable having everyone in the house hear this sound; having to explain it to them would put me in a very difficult position, so I know I have to be careful.

Update: May 17, 2026

I still haven’t been able to do it; I can’t find the courage.

Update: May 20, 2026

This morning, I managed to do the lower part of my two legs, but it was causing incredible pain on the rest of my body, so I couldn’t do it, and I continued the rest with the electric shaver I use.

I wish there was a painless and permanent method, like a pill, for instance. We could just use it like medicine and the hair would fall out on its own; I would love that so much, but I guess there is no way. You just have to endure the pain. When I start using hormones, the hair will naturally fall out on its own, of course, but until then, irritating the hair follicles might be a good idea. Unfortunately, using hormones won’t be the ultimate solution either, because I will definitely need to get laser hair removal for my face.

While writing this blog, I found a method—I think I discovered a hair reduction cream. I will order it and share my experiences with you. For now, I want to thank you all for reading this blog.